Parenting Quiz

This is pretty fun! Is your Parenting GPS working? Take the quiz and find out! Research has shown that parents make a huge difference in their children's education. But what are the most important things to know and do? Take this quiz to test your knowledge and learn the latest in parenting science.

On a side note, someone posted this picture on the website with a link called "Ductivities". I did not know this was possible! :)

Let Your Child Surprise You!

Should Parents be Accountable for Kids' Bad Grades?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?



This topic bugs me especially when a parent tells me that school is more than enough for their kid(s). Based on our current education system, even if your child goes to an expensive private school, it is still not enough. If your child excels in school, perhaps the question to ask is: "Is it sufficient for my child to compete on a global level?"  I believe ANY advantage we can give our children is better than "just enough".  This is definitely something I feel fiercely about. Parents NEED to be accountable for children's success. The question though....is "what do you think?"

Too Cute!

If you remember my guest blogger Bev, who blogged about her kids studying in Japan, you'll definitely want to read this post of hers - " I don't want to go to school!" Bev's family is temporary back in the U.S. because of the earthquakes in Japan and her son has been attending school here. Her post made me laugh and hopefully it will brighten your day up too!

Fun book for little children

The Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton


Looking for a new book to read to your child before bed?  This silly book will do the trick.  "In The Going to Bed Book, an ark full of animals watches the sun go down and then prepares for bed. They take a bath ("in one big tub"), find pajamas, brush their teeth, do exercises up on deck (imagine an elephant jumping rope, a moose lifting weights, and a pig doing handstands), and finally say good night."  Check it out!

Teaching our children to save not spend

I came across this site Kidworth.com.  I really like the concept of the website in teaching our children to be "financially literate." 

With the way our society and economy is headed, teaching our children to be financially responsible can go a long way.  Check out the website to see how it works and if it's something that would be an asset for your family.  Either way, it's a good reminder that we are raising the next generation of leaders, and teaching them the right principles while they are young is crucial.  What do you think?

Family Challenge

This article - "First Grader Proves "Yes, We Can" Isn't Just for Adults" by Megan Cottrell has been nothing but inspirational. A teacher, Sue Veni, read her students the book "The Goodness Gorillas" that was about a group of school kids who try spreading kindness around their school and community. Veni then gave each of her students an envelope with $10 in it, asking them to "think outside the envelope," to use the money to do good in   their own community.  One of her students, Jake Levine, took the challenge. He took the $10 plus a little of his own to buy stamps. He proceeded to write letters to his friends and family, asking for donations for the Leukemia Research Foundation. It was a cause close to his heart as his own grandmother had died of Leukemia in 2009. Jake raise $1501 for the foundation. This is truly amazing!  This might be a fun project to work together on as a family and it will only cost $10.  Come up with something fun and share it with us via email! Tell us what you did and send us pictures! We will feature every project on our blog!


 

Jake Levine poses with his Certificate of appreciation at the LRF office in Wilmette. Photo courtesy of LRF  Credit Fruzsina Eordogh 

Social Network for kids?? Good idea or bad idea?

According to Leena Rao at TechCrunch,

"Disney has just acquired Togetherville, a social network for kids 10 years of age or younger, we’ve confirmed with the company. Terms of the acquisition are not being disclosed at the moment.

Togetherville, which exited beta last year, mimics the experience of adult social networking sites, i.e. Facebook but in an age-appropriate and parent-monitored environment. Togetherville promises a safer, more secure environment, where parents can moderate who their children are connecting with. Parents approve each of their child’s friends, and can also connect with other parents using Facebook’s social graph.

Parents can easily interact with their kids in Togetherville, while kids have their very own social community and login to engage with friends, play games, watch videos, and create art. Children create “neighborhoods” from Facebook friends, and can connect through School Communities, which allows parents and kids connect with school friends without requiring the parents to be connected via Facebook."

Do you think this is a good idea or bad idea?  On one hand, kids this age shouldn't be spending all their time in front of a computer reading about what their friends are doing but should actually be out in person playing and socializing.  On the other hand, technology now makes it available for children to keep in touch with distant relatives and friends just like adults can with Facebook.  I personally wouldn't allow my child onto a site like this until they are older.  In the meantime actual play dates with other children and hanging out with family members will suffice.  

What are your thoughts about a social network for children?  Would you allow your child onto it?

An innovative way to teach your child about Business + Charity!

Business instructor Bob Merrilees is teaching students to make money in his entrepreneur class at Northern Highlands Regional High School. The students sell items on eBay, with profits going to local charities.

I am officially loving the ingenuity of Northern Highlands Regional High School's business teacher, Bob Merrilees. In an effort to teach real-life business skills to his students, he started an eBay selling project with his class. His students sell items on eBay and donate the profits to charities chosen by the students themselves. They learn the importance of customer service, advertising and marketing, shipping and payment logistics and the value of giving back to the community. You can read more about the article here. 

I have been thinking of ways to teach my own kids business skills from when they're young and I love this idea. Perhaps instead of having a simple yard sale, a better way of getting rid of the extra clutter may be this:

1. Have your kids help you organize the items for sale in bins according to categories.

2. Have them help in taking the pictures of the product. Teach them how to lay the product out in a way that will entice buyers and teach them how to use the camera and the different settings. Depending on their age and skill level, you could even show them how to edit pictures.

3. Show your kids how to upload the pictures onto eBay or craigslist or your local online barter site. Show them with the first item how to describe the product and list the price. Allow them to lead the product descriptions and pricing for the other items, only interjecting to direct them along the right path.

4. Teach them how to reply to emails.

5. Show them how payment is processed and how credit cards works. This may be a great time to teach them about good and bad debts.

6. Have your kids learn how to process shipping labels through usps.com, fedex.com, or ups.com. Teach them how to properly package the item.

7. You can start a family fund with the proceeds that can go towards a family trip/outing or your family could donate the proceeds to a local charity.

Some other business ideas include:

1. Lemonade/Juice/Hot Chocolate/Cookie Stand.

2. Making crafts and selling them on eBay, Etsy, at a local arts and crafts store, or chic boutique.

3. Selling their framed artwork on Etsy. I know of a lot of people who love kid's artwork.

4. Have them publish a book and sell it online through Scribble Press, Lulu, or Etsy.

5. Have your kids pick a topic and create their own magazine for other kids. They can create and publish their magazine on MagCloud. This can be done on a monthly or quarterly basis.

6. Have your older kids start a lawn mowing, dog walking, or babysitting business. Help them open a bank account and show them how to use Quickbooks or Quicken to manage their business accounts, send customer invoices, and so on.

Please comment if you have any other fun ideas to teach your children, both young and older, the value of business. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!!!

Why Chinese Mothers are Superior: Is it an accurate depiction?

By now, most of you have probably read the article Why Chinese Mothers are Superior by Amy Chua. Being Chinese myself, I'll be the first to admit that I did laugh in recognition of some of its details. However, it generated a lot of mixed feelings. First of all, I don't believe that it is an accurate depiction of all Chinese Mothers. I believe that it is quite an extreme version of discipline and teaching that takes place in a Chinese/Asian household. We'll delve more into that in a little bit.  I also didn't like how proud she sounded to decimating her children to nothing but worthless if they didn't perform well enough for her standards. However, I will support her ideals of promoting realism and discipline in your child, as well as to push them to the best of their potential to a certain extent.

I spent a good amount of my childhood in Asia. There, I attended local schools. Academic emphasis was the utmost importance and the stress and pressure given by parents, teachers, and myself was certainly high. As much as I appreciated how much more advanced subjects I was being taught, I definitely did not agree with certain methods of teaching used. I remember being punished during my elementary school days galore by "mad"...can I emphasize "MAD" teachers for really the smallest things ever. I remember when I somehow forgot to do the very last page of my math homework packet once, my crazy teacher wrote on my uniform in chalk "I will not forget to do my homework" and made me stand outside of her classroom for the entire duration of her class. Talking during class and helping a classmate try to understand a concept the teacher was teaching often landed me in the same spot. That little nook outside my classroom and the back of my uniform became fast friends very quickly. I hated school but thank goodness about the perfectionist part of mine that was lingering somewhere in that little girl's body! I just had to prove to myself that I was smart enough to get good grades. I aced the most important exam and went on to one of the top high schools. Imagine if I didn't have that in me though. Would I have allowed those teachers to just trod over me and believe that I was truly worthless? I have actually seen that happen to fellow peers. I'm just glad that didn't happen to me. As I thought about my personal experience, I believe strongly that had the teachers been more positive in their teaching methods, it would have yielded the same results - Getting good grades and entering into a good school while allowing me to truly enjoy learning. This is not to say that every Asian teacher was exactly miserably abusive this way. I had some wonderful teachers who taught amazing things while using positive reinforcement but being firm about getting us to do the best we could at the same time.  

That being said, I do believe there is a difference between a Western and Asian household. Of course, this is not true of every household....only a good number of them. I do see that in Asian households, nothing short of an A is expected while homework is usually detested in a Western household. For that, I do like the concept of the Asian household. I truly believe that children are extremely intelligent and they can do almost anything if they put their minds to it. I believe that we need to foster a feeling of confidence and sense of achievement by showing them they can do things they often think they can't. Of course, I do not agree with extreme methods of scolding or beating in order to get the child to excel in something. I believe often when a child does not excel, it is because either the problem in question is not explained well enough for them to grasp the bigger concept or their parents or themselves are impatient and give up easily. Perhaps what we should teach our children instead are the qualities of perseverance and diligence and the results that can be yielded if we put our whole hearts into achieving them. I once had someone tell me "I don't know how to do it" when I asked him why he wasn't putting more effort into the project. I was taken aback by his answer. I paused for a moment and then replied: "look, I don't know how to do it either. But I will do all the research possible to try and find as many answers as I possibly can." I did the research and became quite familiar with what the project required. My partner never bothered to put in that extra effort. Needless to say, he was never an expert or close to being one of our project. Teach your kids to do all they can do and help supplement their efforts with advice, tips and encouragement. Do that and you will find a child that will one day be disciplined and a achiever in all areas.

Being a Chinese mother myself, I seek to instill qualities of hard work, paying your dues, and being successful academically. For that, I am proud of my heritage and all the fine values that come with it. However, I also want to find the balance of allowing my child to be a child. He needs to learn to be creative and street-smart in addition to simply being book-smart. I will teach him all I know about it but at the end of the day, such qualities must be found by the child him/herself. As delicate as that balance is, I believe it to be possible. I believe that a parent can teach realism to a child and not take away from his/her self-confidence. That can be done by building a strong relationship with your child and being open and candid about discussions with your child. Those discussions must be 2-way. For example, instead of simply telling your child he/she is "FAT", perhaps teaching them the importance of healthy eating, physical activity, and then incorporating those ideals into your family as well is really what is needed. 

A look at actual current preschools/kindergartens (Japanese early education and Korean early education) in Asian countries only shows us that the Asian culture is also giving way to a different teaching approach. I don't think such fun and innovative methods of teaching were employed 20 years ago. Perhaps it's time for Amy Chua to look into what's being changed now and how this is helping children succeed better instead of simply arrogantly displaying her own methods of teaching to the whole world. After all, one of the greatest quality of teaching comes from the teacher's ability to be taught him/herself first. What do you think? 

Erin Patrice O'Brien for The Wall Street Journal

Amy Chua with her daughters, Louisa and Sophia, at their home in New Haven, Conn.

The benefits of blogging

With all the privacy issues, I never ever thought of using blogging as a way to teach and improve writing skills for young children. Although I feel that blogs for young children should be privatized, I love this idea! It might be fun for teachers to have a "classroom" blog where each child is a contributor. The blog can easily be closed to simply the educator, students and their parents. My mind was going at a thousand miles per hour as I watched this video. Here are some fun ideas for all you educators out there:

1. Story-chain: Have 1 student start out a paragraph and have each student add on to that story with their own postings. At the end of class, the teacher can put together the whole story and read it aloud to the class. You will be amazed by how the story twists and turns with fun and innovative writing.

2. Opinion posts: Have students write posts about different current events and what they feel and think about it. It's a great way for each child to read about their fellow peers' opinions. Encourage constructive commenting. Teachers should always oversee commenting so as to make sure disruptive comments are put at bay. It's a great that blogs offer tools such as comments that first need to be reviewed by the administrator before it's posted officially.

3. Post a random picture on the blog and have the students write a funny/sad/laughable/horror story about it. Go crazy with the genre!

4. Use the classroom blog to post assignments. This way all the students and their parents will be on the same page.

For parents, a fun thing to do might be to start a private family blog that's accessible only to your immediate family. It will be fun for family members to have their own "white space" their own opinions. This will also teach your child valuable typing/writing skills as well as to teach your child how to form their own opinions and allowing their voices to be heard. I think this is a skill that many kids lack nowadays. Parents are becoming more protective over their children. It is still important that your child learn to voice their opinions, make their own decisions, and learn how to be independent in their own right. As they grow up to be teenagers, this trait will come in handy as they will not be pushed around or influenced easily by bad company. Instead, they will learn how to look at both sides and decide what is right and what is best for them.

Thoughts?

Japanese Kindergarten by guest blogger Beverly

When we found out that we'd be living in Japan for the next three years, our first thought was that our 2 kids (then 3 yrs and 8 months) could be going to school in a Japanese school. We live on a military installation and had the option to choose the American style school system or the Japanese style school system.

In my mind I thought Japanese kindergarten would be rigorous and focused on academia. Because everyone knows that in Japan math is top priority and discipline is expected. Right? Aren't the teachers all certified ninjas or samurai?

I took a tour of a Japanese kindergarten and was amazed to see 3-5 yr olds sitting in their little chairs listening to the teacher, singing songs, painting pictures, and playing nicely. How on earth do you get kids this age to sit still with their hands in their laps, wide eyed, with full attention to their teacher? I thought this must be a strict school.

Then we sat down with the principle and after a chat about what they do at school, I asked what their belief in discipline was. He said, in his simple English, "No discipline, we teach them what they need to do". Really? That's it.

My memories of my younger years in school were in Singapore where a slap on the hand from a ruler was acceptable punishment then. This was what I thought all Asian schools were like. I was very wrong. I've come to see that this kindergarten is a fun and loving place. Teachers hug their students. Lots of encouragement and praise is given. (*note: not all Japanese kindergartens are alike in their beliefs, this is just my understanding of the majority after talking to a few Japanese mom's about this subject matter)

But where are the books and pencils and math drills and academics? I thought Japan was top notch for it's math and they had to start teaching this from the womb right? Not so. Japanese believe children are children and should be allowed to be children. They should be exposed to culture and art and music at this age. They should be allowed to play in the mud once in a while. And collect bugs and acorns. It isn't until elementary school where the academics begins. Then it's common to see school age children going to school on Saturdays.

But childhood for the kindergarten age children seems to be scared in Japan. There are holidays and festivals dedicated to the wonders of childhood. At ages 3, 5, and 7 children are dressed in elaborate kimonos and taken to shrines to pray for their continual growth and blessings, and for expensive photo shoots. Everywhere you go, children under elementary school age are almost always admitted free to museums, amusement parks, and hotels and at restaurants they are catered to very well with special dishes and silverware and toys and candy. And why do you think cute, kawaii, things abound in Japan? The Japanese love the cuteness of childhood! (OK that's just my personal theory, but I think it explains it quite well. :) I watch Japanese mothers and they rarely scold their children, and if they do, it's in a quiet voice. And children are quick to correct when their mothers say something. How is this possible?

Here is where I learned something big about Japanese parenting culture. From a very young age children are taught to do things as a group. If the class is reading books, then everyone reads books, if the class is singing, then everyone sings, if it's rice ball day for lunch, then moms will pack only rice balls and nothing else, nothing extra. Why? Because you don't want to make someone feel bad or offend someone. If you got something extra in your lunch box, then the other kids around you would feel bad. And that would be bad. You don't want to stand out. Misbehaving makes you stand out.

I soon noticed that the children would tell other children when they were out of line and help to get then back in line. For instance, the children noticed that my son, didn't always understand what was going on. He would want to go play with clay, but it wasn't time for clay and the children would tell him that and take what he had and put it away. As if to help him save face from the teacher telling him it wasn't time for clay. But of course in my son's mind, they were keeping him from what he wanted to do; they were keeping him from being an individual. He's grown up with an American mindset.

This is the biggest difference in the two schools of thought, Japan vs the US. I don't believe one is better than the other because they both have their pluses and minuses. One teaches individualism, thinking out of the box, and being ahead. While the other teaches team work, mindfulness of others, respect, and self discipline.

I'm not worried about my kids missing out on an American style education. They will eventually go to an American school when we move back to the US. But I do want them to take with them the good parts of a Japanese education, and have the best of both worlds.

Pressure Cooker

With all the talk of challenging your kids and having them achieve a higher standard in education, I think we sometimes forget the key word is "challenging" and not "pressuring" or "forcing". The secret to challenging your child and still maintaining a happy child is to have them enjoy learning. I remember that when I was studying in Asia, I HATED school and everything about it. Sure, I did well in the exams that actually mattered but hated doing the everyday homework and pretty much shut down when it came to day-to-day excelling. I suppose the intense pressure of constantly doing well and competing with the other kids in my class got to me. I hated the shallowness of the whole system. When we moved back to the states, that pressure was lifted off my shoulder. Suddenly, I enjoyed learning. I would spend hours reading my textbooks before class, make sure my homework was perfect, and got straight A's. In college, I noticed I tended to do better in independent study classes. Even though I did the class at my own pace, I noticed I almost always finished the independent study course way before the actual semester ended and always got A's as well. Interestingly enough, I also found that I retained the information learnt through the independent study courses a lot better than in normal classes. So, the question now is: "How do we get our children to ENJOY learning?" Here are some tips:

1. Have a Set Routine! Having a set routine allows your children to understand what your expectations of them are without having to yell at them constantly. For example, an after-school schedule can be something like this:

Snack/rest and change of clothes (After school)
Homework and any extra curriculum you would want to teach your child (4:30pm-6pm)
TV/Games time (6pm-6:30pm)
Dinner (6:30pm=-7:30pm)
7:30pm-8:30pm (Family Fun Time/Play-time)
8:30pm-9:20pm (Reading/Getting ready for bed)
9:20pm (Lights out)

Your child will learn self-discipline with a set routine and will still have ample time to play and have fun each day! On days that they get out of school earlier and what-not, have them enroll in extracurricular activities like soccer, art class, and so on.

2. Reward System. Create a homework reward chart and a learning reward chart. For each day of completed homework, have your child place a sticker for that day. The learning reward chart will be one where you teach your child more advanced materials. Reward charts should have an attainable goal. I like to have my students choose their own reward that they will get excited about. Have your child take ownership of their reward chart. You will find a child who is excited to work towards their goal and who will enjoy challenging him/herself as a result of that.

3. Be Patient. It is always harder to teach your own child because you expect so much out of them. When you feel yourself losing it when your child does not get a particular concept, walk away. Let your child know in a calm voice that you both will be taking a short break. Take a breather and when you've calm down, go back to teaching. Remember, some times it takes more than a few tries for your child to grasp certain concepts. It doesn't mean that they are dumb. It just happened to be a little tougher for them to understand that point but they will get it sooner or later. Think about computer games. When you get something wrong or do not pass a level, you simply get a calm voice that tells you to "Try again! You can do it!" Be that for your child! When you get impatient with their learning ability, you end up causing them to be self-aware, perhaps losing their confidence and end up hating to learn new things.

4. Be Enthusiastic and Positive. When your kids see your excitement about learning new things, they get excited too and think it's the coolest thing ever.

5. Praise. Shower your kids with encouragement and praise when they improve on learning something. Make it a point to compliment them during your family dinner about how so-and-so learnt their 2 times table today and did so well even though it was a tough thing to learn. Kids eat that up!

6. Encourage Them. When the lesson gets tough, sometimes kids get a little down. Remind them that this is just a bump and you went through the same exact thing too. Assure them that once they get this down, it gets SO much easier after this.

Well, hopefully these tips help. Do share with us any special thing you do with your child!

Book Recommendation for Parents

Now that it's back to school and you finally have a few hours to yourself, how about some fun and yet informative reading! "You're Not the Boss of Me" by Betsy Brown Braun is a great read on how to raise your child to NOT be a brat. When your child says something completely unexpected, usually disrespectful to you or so spouse, it can come as a shocker, and often times you're left dumbfounded without a smart comeback. It may seem cute especially when it's your toddler or young one saying "it" at first but if you don't do something about it, it may get out of hand later on as they get older! Have fun reading and let me know what you think!